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I’m in a similar situation right now, my fiancé just lost what he considered to be a grandfather figure since he maternal grandfather passed when he was too young to remember him. I had only had the chance to meet the gentleman half a dozen times before his passing, since he moved out of state not long before we got together. His passing was also expected, he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer that was moving into his brain and was given 6 months.

I helped with getting the luncheon (I feel like that’s the wrong word, but I can’t think of the right word) after the funeral together once we had made the drive. I also helped with getting the photo memorial DVDs made. I feel very much the same, that he is at peace and no longer in pain. It’s harder for me to be as supportive to his wife, as we live 8 hours away, but I video chat with the kids with her and send photos all the time. The fact you are there and trying is what matters, and offering support.

I lost my partner last year. Our son was 6 months old.
The state of mind i was in i didn't want to socialise but I also didn't like to be on my own so just having friend and family around was a huge help. I had my partners close friends down for 2 weeks and they looked after my baby heaps as i could barely look after myself let alone a baby.
They helped keep my house clean, made meals etc. That was in the immediate few weeks after his death.
A few months afterwards when everyone else continued to get on with their lives etc.. that was when other things went wrong with cars, or stuff around the house that needed fixing i had no idea how to do.. that's when some other friends stepped in and helped me do them ..

It's the small things that are the most helpful in times of grief.

Even a few days after the accident my old work friends came and picked up my 3 Horses and took them to one of their parents property's (i didn't even know this girl as she had started work after i left), ad theu had my horses for 6 months free of charge just so it was one less thing I had to worry about.

I lost my dad a few years ago in a very similar set of circumstances. It’s horrid to live through.

For me, early on I was just dealing with whatever needed to be done. In those first few days, being able to ask someone to handle the laundry or the ironing or watering the garden was so helpful because there are Soooo many things that need to be handled in that first week and my mom wasn’t doing well at all. We are from the US South, so tons of food poured into the house, but running the dishwasher and making sure we didn’t keep trotting out the same food was hard.

In the first couple weeks after the funeral, mom wanted to do a lot of cleaning out of stuff so my husband and I ran a lot of errands. There was a lot of numbness in this phase and the condolence calls and visits start to drop off, but there are so many thank you notes to write and the drive to get up in the morning instead of just wallow in your grief starts to wane. Having friends come get us out of the house, for lunch or a movie or just a walk in the sunshine somewhere, someone who would talk about other stupid stuff or let me talk about my dad was helpful.

Months, shoot, even now years later, having people tell me how much they loved my dad, fun things about him...I find that helpful. The grief is mostly healed now though he was taken way too early. But weird things can set me off sometimes and having someone understand that is good. I know for my mom, those day to day little disasters and problems that dad used to handle...everything from a leaky faucet to hanging a new piece of art to the power going out and therefore the automatic garage door not opening...having someone she can call to help with those is really important.

So sorry for your lose Salvistar. sending cyber hugs to you and yours.

When my friends have a death in their family and for my family too. I plant a tree. I try to make the tree reflect some of the qualities i love about them.

My Grandma passed at 100 years and 6 months old , she always dyed her hair blue, and she was feisty. I planted a BlueSpruce for her, because they live 100 years and are blue and prickly :) Seeing the tree reminds me of her love.